my eyes crack open and all i see is a gallery of gallows surrounding me men and women tied from the ceiling to the floor moving merely inches but i need some more i need some more and so i scratch and tear at the noose around my neck pulling out the threads of my own passivity until i break loose and i'm running free time just a step behind feels like it's tearing me limb from limb tripping i fall to the floor i see a face the face is blue, the face is yours and you're not breathing anymore anymore but in your eyes i see the world- that's how i know you're still alive you're still alive late at night in the confines of your room bathed in the light of the moon blankets in bunches at the end of the bed the scene looks so desperate you might as well be- twisting and turning the bedsheets are burning preservation hits the floor and you can't take it anymore no dreams when you're asleep no dreams when you're awake how can you be expected to want to even try? could you hear me when you needed me could you hear me on the edge of your bed could you hear me bottle of pills in your hand could you hear me staring into your glass could you hear me that night in your room could you hear me could you hear my voice? now i think i've finally come to understand how it feels to be completely and utterly alone without even the company of thoughts and hopes deserted by dreams and the things that keep us going now i'm standing here as a reminder of all the times we never hugged goodbye of all the times we never said "i love you"