my eyes crack open
and all i see 
is a gallery of gallows
surrounding me
men and women
tied from the ceiling to the floor
moving merely inches
but i need some more
i need
some more

and so i scratch and tear 
at the noose around my neck
pulling out the threads of my own passivity
until i break loose and i'm running free
time just a step behind
feels like it's tearing me limb from limb

tripping
i fall to the floor

i see a face
the face is blue, 
the face is yours

and you're not breathing
anymore 
anymore

but in your eyes 
i see the world- that's how i know
you're still alive

you're still alive


late at night
in the confines of your room
bathed in the light of the moon
blankets in bunches at the end of the bed
the scene looks so desperate you might as well be-
twisting and turning
the bedsheets are burning
preservation hits the floor
and you can't take it anymore
no dreams when you're asleep
no dreams when you're awake
how can you be expected to want to even try?


could you hear me
when you needed me
could you hear me
on the edge of your bed
could you hear me
bottle of pills in your hand
could you hear me
staring into your glass
could you hear me
that night in your room
could you hear me
could you hear my voice?


now i think i've finally come to understand
how it feels
to be completely and utterly alone
without even the company of thoughts and hopes
deserted by dreams and the things that keep us going
now i'm standing here as a reminder 
of all the times we never hugged goodbye 
of all the times we never said "i love you"